Boobies In Airports and on Planes

I made it to Tejas... after over 12 hours in an airport/on a plane.

Its crazy that it take that long to get to a place that is only 4 hours away.

Anyways the trip was uneventful for the most part, besides the delays. There was an Amazonian woman in Philly who was at least 6 feet tall chasing around a 3 year old with her boobies hanging out of this sundress she was wearing. I was like eww put a bra on.

The next most eventful part of the trip also involved boobies. So I see these big fake stripper-like boobies hanging out of what was mean to be a cute sundress that she somehow managed to make skanky with the boobies hanging out.

So I see this pair of boobies embracing a guy in a goodbye for a while sort of way. So lucky me, this girl sits directly behind me on the plane. Then, her seat mate came and he was this drunk guy. They started flirting immediately, of course, who wouldn't flirt with boobies girl?

Anyways I come to find out (not even through eavesdropping, they were talking so loud that it was impossible to ignore) that they are both engaged. The guy works in Iraq as a contractor and the girl is a stripper (which explains the stripper boobies). The boobie girl was engaged to this guy who left for Iraq. Anyways they continue to flirt and she decides she wants to get drunk too. So she has 3 Jack Daniels. Then the guy gets up to go to the bathroom and the girl starts freaking out that her camera and $280 are missing and the guy stole them. He emerges from the bathroom totally confused as she accuses him of stealing the stuff.

The stewardess instructs the girl to dump out her purse on the empty seat next to me. Out spills a bunch of receipts, some beef jerky, many loose bills, 3 empty plane-sized JD bottles, other random crap and her camera. I was like ok this crazy bitch is full of shit. Anyways so these two lovebirds decide to part ways and the stewardess seats the guy somewhere else on the plane.

The stripper keeps talking to everyone else around her about how "it'll get 'taken care of' " and that he "messed with the wrong person."

Whatever. So I signaled to Kyle and Tina to look for her by doing my best stripper impersonation as I came down the escalator.

Anyways pretty entertaining. More about this crazy trip to Austin to come!